xmas day 2011

sitting here on the sofa, pondering how i will fill my time, it came to me ..... time to write. getting a cup of tea ready, lunch has been eaten. a very easy one, bread and salmon, cheese and other goodies. so how come i do not have a big xmas lunch with the family as the italian tradition preaches? first off, how can one have a xmas lunch with sun outside would be my question to the enquirer. it is so not inspiring. that is what i found out the 25th of december 1993. i was on my own in locarno, sun and no snow. i took myself up the mountain towards s. bernardino above locarno. lordie, what was that day hot. it must have been 10 degrees or more, like today, and i got into a real sweat. but back to the italian lunch now. most people i hear, are complaining about having the family and inlaws at the house on first xmas day. i don't complain, i just do not have them over. after our children were born, we had a couple of times lunch at my hubbies parents' place, then another couple of times at my sister-in-law's house. i hated it. throwing away a day sitting around, being bored. the one day in the year that you are allowed to do nothing. and then there is nothing christmassy about the day when it feels like spring. feeling that it was my turn to organize something i said ok, but on my terms. doing it as my german heritage dictates it, the evening of the 24 th. it seemed that the whole world crumbled. it was a no go for the italian minds. well, either that or nothing at all. hubby dear was pulled over after a bit of fighting. my big motive was how will you enjoy my xmas decorations during daytime. i spent loads of time to pull everything together. my house, my rules, so it went the way i wanted it. we did it a couple of years in a row. big succes, not lasting too long, and a long day afterwards to recover from heartburn and other stuff. then i quit because i thought it would be time for my brother-in-law to take action for once. that never happened. yesterday we had another go at it, after we escaped it for 2 or 3 years in a row. my parents-in-law are getting older and i thought it would be nice to have all four grandsons around the table for once. everyone really appreciated it, it was nice. but this morning the man of the house said next year, no party, just the four of us is enough. we are lazy buggers, and pj-huggers.

merry xmas to all of you!

what about snow this year?

december 11th, mountains brown, no snow to be seen from our house. i looked on the website of bosco gurin and there is a little white to be seen. i long to see some rain and snow. big son asked me when there would finally come some heavenly water. if i say that i need rain, people here get very upset. why would someone want rain or snow?well, i suppose it is something which helps us to keep alive! after 2 hours all ticino people are fed up with down poor, and it is not as if they are always outside and in that moment they are confined to stay put. i love rain and snow because it relaxes my brain and it tells me it is okay to nothing for once in a while. me, big egoist, loves the snow for myself and family. a lot of ticino people do not think about the economic side of snow for this part of the country. we have some really nice little skiing areas and i hope they will be around for a long time. so to keep them going...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

december

'sinterklaas has left'. well, almost, pigging out on 'pepernoten' as i write. i went to holland twice in the last month, so i had all the time to get the sweets we need to celebrate sinterklaas. i was in holland just the days before our number 1 celebration, and i was sad to see that they was hardly any decoration, there was no sinterklaas in any of the big departmentstores to receive children. a big change from a couple of years ago. my sons sat often in sinterklaas' lap to tell him what they would like to get. i saw only 4 zwarte pieten, the old guy's helpers. it was really a downer. people do celebrate the event on the evening of the 5th still in a big way, bigger than christmas. when i flew back to switzerland, my big sons for the evening 'believed' again. they will do anything to get a gift. i recall the times that we celebrated it with another dutch family and other nights just my little family. so much excitement, frightened children hearing zwarte piet knock on the door. but now sinterklaas is out of the door and we are getting ready for xmas. in holland it is usually not celebrated with gifts. it is a day for love and world peace. having a german mom, i was a lucky girl that i got gifts twice in december. we also do xmas for our family, but not in such a lavish way as sinterklaas. my sons know that. people will ask me what dutch people eat traditionally on the 25th. i haven't got a clue.....rabbit? my mother always did 'chicken fondue' with broth on the 24th, very easy always does it;) decorations are up now. the next thing we will do is starting to think about dinner. for a couple of years we did nothing. 3 days of pj's, xmas movies and leftovers. heaven! this year i thought it would be nice to have the inlaws over(for them, they are getting old)....i might regret it...not because of this extended family, but because i hate having to do to much. a lot of work for what? my dinner would be a bottle of wine accompanied by a piece of cheese. i am also born with the dna easy does it. but no it will not be like that:(  hubby dear and his mother have been talking. i had to bring 'gerookte paling'(smoked eel) from the fish guy on the 'albert cuyp' market in amsterdam. they blabbered on about in what way he should cook the shrimp. cold or warm shrimp, that is still the question. we have to have something not fish based for the boys who do little fish. i am famous for my pies.....so you can imagine what i have to do. i will be glad when that night is over. and then we will live up to the 31st. 'oliebollen', tradional  dutch sweet grease balls(yes we do have a dutch cuisine), delicious, i might think about it to make them. and what we will be doing that evening.....i am famous for going to bed at 10. i don't give a d... about that evening. new year...same sh.. that is my motto. why should i wait up for that? anyway, i wish all of you happy holidays. a big 'smack' to you from dutchwomanabroad

having almost no one left in holland

it is over, i am an orphan. no daddy, no mommy. all i have left is a house which i cannot keep,  my two lovely cousins twice removed and my childhood friend. i am not counting other family all twice or more removed, they are not in my life. when my mother told me she was ill in february 2011 one of my first thoughts was 'if you go, what will i do? you are my great support and my connection to holland'. the poor thing was hospitalized for almost 5 months and in august 2011 she finally found her resting place. during this time i flew more then usual to holland. i have always had a lot of homesickness. i just like holland more than switzerland. but since big love will not move up north, i am stuck here. i told him, if i would have known ahead how i feel now, i would never have left my country of birth. when i go back now, like last week, i enjoy being there more then before. it is as if i would go there for the last time and i have to take in every thing as it would be the last time. i know that my country will be my country for always, even if things change. and change  is not always for the worse. i will just look forward and see what the future will bring me.

reading a book about 'the dutchwoman'

on my last trip to holland, i went as usual into a bookstore, and found just the book i wanted....a book i did not know existed! 'het poldermodel - de nederlandse vrouw', 'the poldermodel - the dutchwoman' by female writer santje kramer. the writer interviewed men and women from foreign countries who live in holland for this book( i am always on the look out for books about holland and its inhabitants. it helps me to get rid off or to stimulate my homesickness, whatever the day asks for). foreigners see the dutchwoman as one drressed in jeans, with crocs or uggs on their feet or any kind of flat shoe like boots(big favorite), equal to a man as in having a strong caracter, not working a lot, keeping hair short, talks like a construction worker and is not capable of flirting. i wrote the next email to the writer as a response to her work.

dear santje,
i can tell you something, come and have a look in ticino! the women there are not dressed to their best. you would think the swiss would have the money to buy nice things and the italian influence in ticino would make the fashion sence come up.... but no! crocs are a big thing here, the whole family walks around on them. most women are color blind. and if you drop by at someone's house after working hours they are lying around in sportwear which has known better days. during the weekend the whole family, grandparents, kids, everyone, walk around in 'think pink' matching sets. when i am in  holland, i would not even think to dress in that way and walk around in the streets. it is not done! you will be gapped at. me, a girl from the hague, and one of my 'big city' girlfriend here from geneva, have talked about this. we started down dressing:( . we will be stared at when we go around in a short skirt, nice tights, highheeled boots, scarf, sunglasses. women might be staring out of jealousy and men will be licking their lips. and then all those women who walk around like hippies: black potatoe sack, hennaed hair, one short and one long earring. gross! the only woman i know where you can ring the bell at 7 in the morning and she will be dressed up to the nines, is a dutch friend living just down the road. and what i missed in the book was the jeanjacket. that catches more my eye than the jeans.

looking forward to all your responses, or thru this page or by email to dutchwomanabroad@gmail.com

see you soon!

what do you want in a wife or girlfriend

talking to my nephew gained by pairing up with his uncle, we came to talk about life as a couple. this nephew is very worldwise. his english is poor, but he gets around by using hands and feet comunicating with everyone. he is still living in ticino, but his view is very opened up. he has traveled around the world. we got into a personal discussion about being part of a couple. he is a smart looking guy. watches the way he dresses, and keeps in shape. the right guy if i would have a daughter and this daughter would not be his niece:). he is end twenties and i asked if he had a girlfriend, his answer was 'no'. all the girls from ticino he has gone out with, have been very disturbing about him meeting up with his friends. always badgering and being jealous. i told him get a dutch girlfriend! well, maybe it is only me between dutch girls, but i am am quite cool about laws between lovers. not that i would appreciate it if my big love would get himself a girl on the side, but i see that he has his needs to be in male company. last saturday we had an invitation for diner of one of his friends. and when i found i found out it was only male company, i just let him go by himself. ofcourse he could abuse the situation, but i believe he will not. my big love bought a big house up on top of a mountain more or less and there is lots to do. so most weekends he will be away and have some friends join him for work and play. i see that he needs male company as i need female company, and we have to let the other one go sometimes. this is not very customary in the relationships i see around me. there is often a payback requested. is this habitual in other countries? i think in holland people are more open to let the other one do what he/she needs, but maybe i am wrong.

getting back on track writing while being by myself

i left my dutch blogsite, does not function very well anymore. so i am back here. have do get back to writing about my life. eventhough maybe no one is interested:)

on my own at home. it has been ages, if i do not count the night hubby was in the mountain house and the boys were camping out on the mountain behind our house. i am on my own, with all the animals, for 10 days. it is so strange. the men went out on an all male vacation, sailing in croatia with friends. i feel a bit lost.

it has been almost 2 years that i haven't been writing my blog and i can tell you in those two years i have been getting better with being stuck in the necks of the woods, a small village in ticino. eventhough my ties to holland are still very good, i am more laid back and feel much more at home in this part of the world. must be aging;)

getting back to talk about being home alone. how many times are there that i think, i wish i would be just living on my own again, having no one to worry about but myself. but now, 10 whole days just on my own. how will i fill up those days? walk the dog, doing some housework, getting my adminstration done and then there is lots of time left. reading a book, that gets boring also after a couple of hours. this summer has not been that good, so i think going to river and have a swim must be out of the question. but maybe i will go. and then i will have loads of time to rethink my blog and see in what direction it will go.

take care, bye