carnival in a small village, why i hate these events.

today was carnival in our tiny town of tegna. i hate going. on these occasions, the foreigner still stands out, even if he or she is integrated. integrated, well, so so. people will talk to you when you are one-on-one. but when there is an event like this, no one will come up to you. not to me anyway. this year hubby dear was not in the kitchen helping out to cook risotto, he was just there as a visitor. so i promised i would go and i did dragging the moment of going as far out as i could. there was still some laundry to hang up, the kitchen had to be cleared. i explained to him in the morning why this for me is such a terrible occasion. i feel left out, so i rather stay home. and people are there to look and judge, not in a nice way. in the course of the day he had to agree that it might be better to stay home. we were confronted with a family who always tries to make other people black. it was so sickening to see people not saying hello when they usally do, whispering behind the backs of others. persons prying to know what is going on in others' home. next year at least i do not have to explain why i am not going anymore. i am done with this kind of small town life.